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Pam's Unremarkable Mindscape

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Hm. Apr. 12th, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
Still alive.
Current Mood: blankblank

Holy shit - that was a mindfucking blast from the past. Jul. 20th, 2006 @ 12:19 am
I haven't even looked at this livejournal for so fucking long. This is nuts... fast forward some hard times, some revelations, and a lot of changes. I'm not the same kid I was when I last posted here. First thing I'm gonna do is delete and censor a lot of the incriminating shit on here left from my more foolish days. That's one of the more trivial things I've learned- never put anything, ANYFUCKINGTHING on the internet you don't want others to see. Thats what codenames are for.

TAW May. 10th, 2005 @ 08:28 pm
I decided today to declare the second week of May TEEN ANGST WEEK. Visit my xanga for more details.
Current Mood: sadsad

Not Pretty In Pink May. 7th, 2005 @ 12:51 am
APUSH test. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I'm not even sure I passed.

Brace yourself; I went shopping... FOR A DRESS! Yes, me, a dress. For the first time in probably over ten years. It was a surreal experience. And there are pictures.

See xanga for more details.

I want to go down in history as having said this: May. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:52 pm
"I'd try to keep a more open mind, but you'd just keep barging in and taking a shit on the floor."
--Me

I don't have any homework done except for two worksheets. Yet I'm not panicking. I just don't care. In fact, I'm going to go to bed and sleep soundly. Chuck was right; I feel like the dude from Office Space, minus the bliss.

I saw HB on my way to ceramics. He looked hot. A girl flirted with him. I can't explain why, but I glared at her... I don't even think I realized it until she looked at me. I think I scared her. She was pretty. Fuck..... fuck.

And yet now, I couldn't care less.

Casey, tell me everything I need to know about Bailey's party; what to wear, if I should bring anything, if it's an actual "masquerade" party, how to behave in polite society... ect.


Fuck.
vulgarities drop from my mouth
like wet snow;
quietly cold, soft, impotent.
Fuck.
This is the apathy forcast;
it's coming back
and blanketing my brain with shaved ice...
I'm a fucking sno-cone.


Well, there's a sorry little poem for ya. Right off the top of my lemon-flavored head.
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Other entries
» Yippie cay ayyy motherfucker!
I just saw "Hostage" with Casey and IT WAS AMAZING! Bruce Willis was badasss, Ben Foster was even more badass (yes, he upstaged Bruce Willis!) And you should just read the review I wrote on my xanga. Shit, now I wanna watch Die Hard! Oh, and Casey and I did a little stalking on _______. It was mucho fun!
» Fuck, I've got blood spatter on my walls...
Okay, so it's just blood-colored watercolor but whatever. I stayed up 'till two in the morning finishing my homage (pronounce it with a French accent because it sounds cooler) to MCR. I love it so much. It's the one with the dried roses and the blood spatter that I mentioned earlier. A little cliche maybe, but what the fuck. It's the image I see when I hear MyChem. I'll show it to you when it gets back from the state art show because I have to turn it in this afternoon. Yeah, I really think I can only get creative when I'm up late working on art and listening to stoner music (Pink Floyd, The Mars Volta). I actually had a vision last night of myself in the future as a struggling artist in Nothern Cali. I'm up painting late at night... "Welcome To The Machine" is playing... a cool, salty sea breeze floats in through the window... there's a slight drizzle outside but not it's not cold.. my hair of course is frizzing up because of the humidity so a wrap it back in my usual messy ponytail........ Yeah, then I came back to the present. Fuck the art world. It's all bullshit anyway. I told my art teacher I couldn't go to state art because I've missed too much school already. LIE! I just don't want to spend three whole fuckin' days with all those condescending, "intellectual," take-themselves-too-seriously artists. I am NOT an artist. I just do art. Anyway I'm really happy with the painting.

Hey I just read that they've elected a new pope but it doesn't say who.

*** Afterschool ***
Looks like they picked some German dude. I would've bet on the African guy but guess not. Ya'know now it's just starting to hit me that John Paul is dead and I kinda miss him... I feel like I took him for granted or something.
» The wonderful/mutherfuckin' bipolar Monday
Okay so Heather's party was fun. We watched cheesy zombie movies and made fun of them. Her friends are a little freaky (but hey, aren't we all? No? Just me? Alright then, fine) but they kept me in stitches the whole time.
So anyway I wake up to "Our Lady Of Sorrows" and that just gets me so pumped and I'm happy, (or at least seemed to be) all morning. I even gave Michelle a hug. Why? I honestly don't know. But now I've just been thinking of things and I'm like fuck everything...
FUCK EVERYTHING!! fuck it fuckitfuck it all fuckitallitall....
» (No Subject)
Well I got back from Heather's party about an hour ago and then I fucked around with xanga's and live journals and... oh hell I'm tired I'll write about today tomorrow.
» Ahhh, Saturday.
As I mentioned in the previous post I stayed up looking at xangas 'till about 4:00 in the morning. Also I would like to apologize for my absolutely revolting gushing over Gerard - it was late, and I was sleep deprived. Though I must say that my obsession is renewed. So I woke up at around 12:30 this afternoon then took a shower and went outside to get a tan, and this time I was met with a little more success. It's not really a tan, but at least I don't glow under a blacklight anymore. My family went to Denver today so I'm just gonna lounge around, mix some CD's, do some web surfing... I've actually been reading this really interesting book on mass murder. I'm gonna work on my dead bloody rose painting. My art teacher saw the prelim and now she wants me to finish it over the weekend so she can send it to the state art show. The weather is sooooo nice! I may actually do my math homework outside today, and play some summer music.
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